"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking at which they were created".

Hi Diane,

One of my favorite quotes, these wise words by Albert Einstein often come to mind when I find myself facing a challenge or 'problem'.  I'm sure that as you read this now you have a few problems of your own.... Who doesn't right? So my intention for you as you read through this newsletter is to take a fresh look at how you are looking at your problems, find the learning they hold and apply it to resolve them more successfully... with more ease and a lot less stress!  

THREE PROBLEM QUESTIONS TO DEEPEN YOUR THINKING:

Given how much I love questions, here are three to help you deepen your level of thinking around your problems and gain whatever wisdom they hold to offer you.

1) WHY DO I SEE THIS AS A PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE?
In other words, what has me labeling this a problem to begin with?  Our problem is not that we have problems, rather it's that we expect not to have them.  Your car engine starts making dire noises, you're a/c blows up, your fence falls down, a co-worker goes on maternity leave to leave you carrying her load, interest rates go up, sales numbers go down, your inbox is overflowing, your mother-in-law comes to visit, your toddler refuses to eat greens, your teenager announces they're (fill in the blank).... it's never ending!

Ahhh.... aint life grand?!

Sooooo.... what if instead of viewing your current problems as something that 'shouldn't be', view them as a normal part of the cycle of life.   Instead of resisting, embrace. Instead of cursing, bless. Instead of trying to make them go away, welcome them for the lvaluable earning they provides.

2) WHAT LESSON DOES THIS PROBLEM HAVE TO TEACH ME?
Every challenge we face in life, every adversity, every heartache, provides the seed for an equal or greater benefit. It's up to us though whether we are willing to search for the lesson, embrace it into our lives and allow it to guide our choices moving forward.  So with a problem in mind, invest some time to look for the lesson. What can your problem teach you.... about relationships, trust, communication, organization, prudence, discipline, personal responsibility, procrastination, yourself, the mystery of life and how little control you have over it?

You will have heard the Chinese proverb: When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.  Whether in your love life, finances, health or career, the universe will keep sending you lessons until you finally get the learning they provide.   So if you find yourself having a ground hog day in an aspect of your life (e.g. you've got your 6th cold this year or just broke up with your boyfriend for the 4th time), odds are that there is a lesson embedded therein that you have been resisting. Why? Because it requires you giving up the pay-off that you've been getting for your ignorance.  The question is simply, how many times do you have to find yourself back in the same place, tail between your legs (or Kleenex at your nose), before you say "Okay, I get it!"   Once you get to this point you will be able to behave yourself out of the problems you behaved yourself into. 

GOT PEOPLE PROBLEMS?  Likewise, if your problem involves a person, then ask yourself what lesson this 'problem person' has for you. Speaking to a friend recently she shared how she always attracts needy people into her life and was musing on why this is so. I asked if maybe its because she validates their sense of victimhood and so, fulfills the need they have to justify their neediness. 

Obviously all of us find ourselves at some point or another in a relationship with someone who causes us some angst, resentment, frustration or hurt.  It's a natural response to automatically assume that "it's because of who they are" that we find ourselves with a problem.  But, next time you find yourself doing this, ask instead,  "What it is about who I am that has me feeling as I do and in this situation?"  Every person you meet, particularly those who you butt heads with most, has something valuable to teach you.

Finally ask yourself:

3) WHO DO I NEED TO BE TO TRANSFORM THIS PROBLEM INTO AN OPPORTUNITY? 
Lily Tomlin once said, "I always wanted to be somebody, I should have been more specific."  When you have a clear idea about who you want to be in the face of your problems it enables you to deal with them far farrrrr more effectively and powerfully.  Do you think the Dalai Lama gets upset when it rains on a day he was planning a picnic?  'As if!' right? 
You see when you are being a big person living a full and big life, its puts all your small puny problems into perspective and liberates you to focus your energy on the big meaty ones (like how to protect the dignity and rights of oppressed people).  Instead your original problem becomes an opportunity for you to apply creativity, practice perspective, model strength and grow your muscles for life.

Life is one never ending stream of "problems".  Mastery of life is therefore not the absence of problems, but mastery of them.  What shape and form your biggest problems will take I do not know. What I do know is that neither you nor I will get through life 'problem free' and neither would be want to!   You see, the important things about your problems is not their solution, but the wisdom you gain and the person you become in finding the solution. 

So my hope for you is not that you will not have problems. My hope is that your problems will be worthy of you, that you be open to learning whatever lessons they hold for you and that you rise to meet them - however daunting  they may appear -  with a questioning mind, grace and courage.

As always, live boldly, shine brightly!

PS: If you enjoy this newsletter please share it with others. Anyone can subscribe at www.margiewarrell.com/subscribe

Margie runs interactive workshops and programs focused on helping people live, lead and communicate with greater clarity, confidence and courage.   For more details on programs and downloadable brochure visit http://www.margiewarrell.com/speak.asp

Upcoming Speaking Engagements:

~May 14  Junior League, Washington DC, National Leadership Conference, Success is a Balancing Act
~May 15 American Council of Life Insurers, National Leadership Conference
~May 17 Junior League, Washington DC, Leadership is a Choice
~May 21 Accenture, Dallas, Texas Half Day Leadership Development Program: Success is a Balancing Act, Courageous Conversations for the Workplace
 ~July 10, National Rural Co-op Finance Corporation, Harness the Power of Vision 
~Sep 24, National Rural Co-op Finance Corporation, Courageous Conversations