The lead up to the holidays and year end is often a time when stress levels go up. So much to do and so little time!  Unfortunately you won’t be able to enjoy the festive season fully if you’re overly stressed so it might be worth taking a minute to think about how you could get deal with the stressors of the holiday season, and your life in general,  more effectively.

But what is stress anyway?  Well as strange as this may sound, there is no stress anywhere in the world. Stress and anxiety result from the choices we make to process events, they’re not entities that are ‘out there’ waiting to invade our lives.  Stress comes about from the way you think about and respond to the demands, pressures and challenges you face (‘stressors’) - both real and perceived.  It’s not about the stressors themselves, but the way you respond to them.

Consider peak hour traffic for instance. For some it is an experience that has them fly off the handle a dozen times on their way home from work to arrive completely ‘stressed out’  whilst  the person in the car behind uses the time to gear down after a day at the office listening to classical music. Same traffic. Two different responses. Get the drift?

STRESSORS External Pressures Real & Perceived

STRESS Internal

Positive Response

Negative Response

What’s So Bad About Stress?

Though some stress in your life is a good thing if stress gets out of hand it can have some pretty serious and unpleasant consequences.  Physically, stress elevates the levels of cortisol and adrenaline in your body, which produce marked increases in your blood pressure and heart rate that in turn lead to numerous illnesses including heart disease (now the #1 killer in the US), allergic reactions, diabetes, stroke,  auto immune diseases, ulcers and the list goes on from there.  

Beyond the physical ailments though stress can wreak havoc on your career and relationships as it affects your  judgment, decision-making skills, efficiency, concentration, communication and overall effectiveness. 

Stress Breeds Stress

Stress also breeds more stress and can quickly become an accelerating downward spiral which, the longer it goes unchecked, becomes an increasingly difficult cycle to break.   For example when you don’t sleep you begin to rely on stimulants, which makes it more difficult to sleep so then you take more stimulants, but then…

Signs Of Stress

It’s pretty important to be conscious of your stress levels and be proactive in lowering them when you start noticing them shoot up.  Things that indicate stress are an lowered immunes system (the part of your body that determines whether  you catch that cold circulating the office or develop cancer 5 years from now), nervousness or anxiety, fatigue, inability to concentrate or focus,  insomnia, moodiness, impatience, headaches, emotional outbursts and the list goes on. To assess your stress levels please do the How Stressed Are You? Quiz.

7 Strategies For Dealing With Stress

At the end of the day there are 2 ways to keep stress in your life in the healthy zone.  You can either work to minimize the stressors in your life or you work on your attitude to them so they don’t cause you stress! The following 7 strategies outline some ways you can do this.

1. Pick Your Battles

Too many of the things that stress people out  really don’t matter in the big scheme of things, so why choose to let them bother you? If there’s something that’s getting you in a big tizzy ask yourself  “Will it really make a difference in my  life 5 years from now or even tomorrow?”  Don’t sweat the small stuff,  burn your reserves on the petty unimportant things or worry yourself silly about stuff you can’t do anything about anyway. Instead lighten up a little and focus your energy on the stuff you can do something about and save your stress for things that really do matter in the big picture.  

2. Manage Your Time Effectively

Preparation prevents pressure but procrastination produces it. You work and live by either priorities or pressures.  Therefore practicing  time management and planning skills can help you avoid a lot of stressors and resultant stress. Without good time management you end up reacting to the emergency of the minute.  This keeps you in a high intensity state (something adrenalin junkies thrive on), reactive and stressed out of your brain much of the time.).  When you take control of your schedule,  plan realistic amounts of time to fulfill your commitments and responsibilities and avoid over committing, you’ll better maintain your reserves for those ‘surprises’ that life so often dishes up.  For more on how to manage your time well read my Nov 03 Newsletter.

3. Find Positive Ways To De stress  

Everyone has different outlets: time alone, music, shopping (aka “retail therapy”), meditation or prayer, having a “good cry,” exercise, physical competition, a long bath, cooking etc. The trick is to find out what works for you and incorporate it into your life. And by the way, I hate to be a party pooper but getting totally plastered, whilst providing temporary respite by dulling the senses, is not an effective method for reducing stress. 

4. Make Conscious Choices.

Though there are things we can do to minimize the stressors we encounter (like planning ahead), sometimes we make the choice to get into, or stay in,  a situation that produces plenty of stressors because we judge that the tradeoff for doing so is worth it.  Indeed sometimes doing things that excite and inspire you require putting yourself in situations with more pressures and challenges than you’d face otherwise. One things for sure, you will never accomplish anything worthwhile if your number one goal is to avoid potential triggers for stress.

For example:

·         Choosing to have kids!  Now there’s a surefire strategy for creating ‘stressors’ (and forever more forfeiting sleeping in) but one many (including me) happily make for the joy children provide

·         Choosing to be a working mom and deal with the challenges of multiple demands on your time and daily juggling act

·         Choosing to invite all your relatives (all 27 of them) to your house this year for Thanksgiving or Christmas! 

·         Choosing to do an intense job with short deadlines, but the job also allows you to travel and grow professionally

·         Choosing to be self-employed without a regular income stream because it allows you to have independence and flexibility and do work that is highly rewarding

The key is to recognize the tradeoffs and consciously decide if it’s worth it to you to stay in that situation (if it’s kids causing you’re stress then I’m sorry it’s too late… try strategies #1-6 instead!!). If it is, you can move forward feeling good about the positive aspects and better able to take the stressors in your stride.

If you decide something is not work the stress it creates then don’t just sit around whinging about it, do something! Quit your job, address the issues in your relationships, change your plans, cut back on your commitments… whatever it takes.  If you don’t you’re selling out on yourself and have no-one to blame but yourself .  Whatever you do, just realize it’s your choice either way!

5. Create Supportive Relationships.

Many studies have shown the value of having a close friend, confidant or support group.  Supportive relationships help maintain our emotional reserves by letting us vent, get perspective, make better decisions, keep the big picture in focus, feel strongly connected to the world, and get through the tough times.

You might ask some people in your life  - at work and home - to help give you a gentle prod now and then when they see you getting a bit ‘stressed’ about things. Whenever I find myself getting a bit ‘stressed out’ my husband will gently point out that I’m doing so and encourage me to look at the situation from a healthier, less stressful, perspective. Also, you might find a mentor or coach to help you to identify and overcome the ‘stumbling blocks’ that are stopping you from dealing with your stressors more effectively.

6. Adopt A Positive Outlook

Everyone faces pressures in their life but whether you have a positive response to them or a chronic negative one is your choice. Yes, your stress levels are less about how ‘stressful’ your life is than they are about the perspective that you choose to look on your circumstances.  Because stress is a reaction to both real and perceived demands, your outlook can make a big difference on your stress levels. If you start to find yourself feeling stressed, ask yourself this one very powerful question “What other perspectives could I look at this situation from?”  Simply being aware that you have the power to choose how you react to the pressures in your life can go a long way to reducing your stress levels.

Negative or pessimistic people tend to perceive that things are or will soon go poorly, so they perceive more demands on themselves – and create more stress – than positive people. If you want to add a ton of stress to your life, all you need to do is worry about everything that could possibly go wrong. That’s what pessimism primarily is: not only looking at the bad in the current situation, but looking at all the bad that might happen.

Of course bad things do happen and positive thinking is not about denying their existence. Positive thinking is not about whether the glass is half empty or half full. The power from positive thought comes from being able to look at an empty glass and be confident that a solution to the problem can be found and then taking action to find it (rather than complaining that there’s never enough water to go around or trying to convince yourself that you really don’t like water anyway so you’re glad its empty).  Zoom up, take a look at your situation from more angles than the one you’ve been looking at it and trust in your ability to handle the situations you find yourself in.  To paraphrase the words of Lao Tsu, you are capable of much more than you think you are!

7. Look After Your Wellbeing

Taking care of yourself thought good nutrition, ample sleep, exercise and other healthy lifestyle habits is vital for managing stress well.   Your physical and emotional reserves are closely tied together so investing in your own sense of wellbeing will enable you to better handle the emotional stress triggers. But what’s that you say, you haven’t got time for keeping fit?  Of course you haven’t. But that’s just not good enough.  Schedule it in as you do the other priorities in your life. If you don’t you’ll ultimately end up burnt out and little good to anyone!